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Monday, April 23, 2012

Why you should marry your best friend


I woke up this morning with socks on my feet. They weren't there last night when I went to sleep. So I was a little surprised when I woke up this morning to find someone had put them there.
I just had surgery a few weeks ago on my back and I can't bend, drive or lift anything over five pounds. I can't reach my feet. After I got out of bed I noticed that my hair dryer and straightening iron had been laid out on a bench next to my make up dresser. When I got to the kitchen the coffeepot had already been set up and all I had to do was press the on button.

Then it struck me. Before my husband left for work, he set up the coffee for me. He had laid out my straightening iron and curling iron on a bench that he had brought in the room knowing I couldn't pick them up off the floor. He had slipped socks on my feet knowing I couldn't do it myself.
This says a lot about a man. He knew the limitations that I would be faced with on the morning of my first day alone after leaving the hospital. He had to go back to work and the kids had to go to school. He knew I wouldn't be able to get my own socks on. He knew that I would want to put on my makeup and do my hair. He knew I loved my morning coffee and he had that ready for me. He knew exactly what I wanted.

The one thing that saves a marriage is dignity. When you take away a person's dignity it can never be restored. When you give a person their dignity, you create a foundation that keeps marriages alive.
There's a lot of good reasons for getting married and there's a lot of bad reasons for getting married. I was lucky enough to marry my best friend and 18 years later we remain best friends. I can't think of one time when we've actually had a screaming, yelling fight. We just don't do that, we respect each other too much. We love each other too much.
Over the past eighteen years I have discovered that love is not about roses or chocolates on Valentine's Day. Love is about giving a person their dignity. It's about knowing someone has your back. It's when you have back surgery and you can't go to the bathroom by yourself and you need help.  It's when your partner doesn't roll their eyes and allows you to keep your dignity during those times.  It's when you wake up in excruciating pain from  back surgery to find out your husband has set up the coffee for you, laid out your hair drying and straightening iron. It's when you wake up with socks on your feet.

That's when you know marrying your best friend was a good idea.