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Monday, July 2, 2012

If I just had five more minutes!

If I had five more minutes I could accomplish so much! I certainly wouldn't be doing some of the stupid things I've been doing lately.

Over Christmas I left my ATM card in the machine at Sobey's and didn't realize it till the next day when I went to pay for lunch at a restaurant. Luckily I had a credit card in my wallet or I would have been washing dishes. I had to go to the bank to get a new one.
You would think I learned a lesson, but I did the exact same thing a day later! Paying for groceries at Sobey's I went off and left that damn card in the machine again. Then had to go back to the bank and admit that I needed another card.

Why am I in this constant state of confusion?
It's because I am so busy all the time. My whole life just needs five more minutes!

Rushing the kids out to the school bus, waiting for the dryer to end so I can get another load in before I go to work, drying my hair. If I just had five more minutes!!!
Muti-tasking is just a joke!

I am writing at report a work, Googling a recipe for chicken for supper, while writing "Don't forget to write a cheque for daughter's dance class" on a post-it note and attaching it to my purse, fixing the scuff on my high-heels with a black marker while my mother phones to complain that I never call her anymore!
During a multi-tasking melt down one morning, I was retrieving a message my boss left on my office phone, jotting down the information I needed to call him back with,  while reading an email from my husband. I called my boss's office number and got his voice mail, while leaving him the information he needed, and answering the email back to my husband, I ended the message to my boss with "I hope that's all you needed. If not call me back. I love you. Bye" and hung up the phone.

I do not love my boss. He's ok. I like him but it's not love.
I realized what I did and ran like a woman on fire through the building to his office. He wasn't in yet, thank God, but his executive assistant was. I asked her if she had the code to his voice mail and told her what I did. She went in to retrieve the message but it wasn't there.  "Maybe I didn't press the number to leave a message" I thought. Her phone rang and she picked it up. It was the boss. After a few pleasantries and the daily update she tells him "I am here with Helen now"  jots down some info and hangs up the phone. "What did he say?" I asked holding my breath. "He said to tell you he got your message and he's very fond of you too."

As women we over tax ourselves. Trying to be superwomen in stilettos. How many times has superwoman shown up at work with her skirt on backwards or two different black shoes on? My husband calls me every day to remind me to pick the kids up. I always say, "Do you really think I would forget?" Truth is, I always forget. Thank God he knows me better than that.
And watch out if I am PMSing on top of multi-tasking! Hubby made the mistake of yelling at me from the basement asking me where his white shirt was while I trying to get a five minute nap on the couch after supper. Twice I yelled back that it was hanging in his closet. I know he can hear me but he pretends he is deaf! So I jumped off the couch and stomped to the basement door and screamed back, "You're not f...ing deaf. While you're down there take the clothes out of the dryer and they better be folded before you come up stairs or I'll cripple you!" I slammed the door and stomped back to my five minute nap on the couch grinding my teeth.

What I didn't know was that my husband was upstairs, not down in the basement.
The guy from Irving was in the basement fixing the furnace.

Hubby had let him in while I was upstairs helping the kids with homework 20 minutes earlier.
I didn't know the Irving guy was in the house until I heard a light tap on the living room door. I opened one eye to see the poor man standing there in his Irving coveralls holding a folded basked of laundry. He said "Missus, the furnace is fixed. You shouldn't have any problems now and the laundry is folded. I am not good at matching socks so you may want to check them." He laid the basket on the floor and slowly backed out of the room, then ran for his life.

I just needed five more minutes of sleep before starting the second half of my day, now the Irving guy thinks I am a maniac.
I think my brain is full and I can't fit anything else in there. Every time I fill out a form for my kids I have  to think, what year was my son born? I know we were married in '94, he was born two years later. It must be '96. No one will know if it's wrong anyway. Don't even get me started on people's names. There are times I feel like lying to people and saying "I had a stroke and lost my memory so you'll have to remind me how I know you."

If I had five more minutes to think about it, I am pretty sure it still wouldn't come to me.
If I just had five more minutes my hair would be perfect, the zipper on my skirt would be in the back where it's suppose to be, the washer and dryer would have a full load in them, the pot roast would be in the slow cooker, the kids would have their lunch in their backpacks and on time for the school bus, my boss wouldn't think I had a crush on him and Irving wouldn't refuse to service my furnace anymore.

If a genie appeared to me and granted me one wish, I wouldn't waste it on sports cars, grand houses, or a perfect body. I would ask for five more minutes added to everything I do so I could complete some of my multi-tasks... and an uninterrupted five minute nap after supper so I could catch my breath and start the second half of my day.