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Wednesday, June 24, 2015

I am celebrating Canada Day by stocking up on tampons!


That’s right tampons. No red and white balloons and streamers for me. Just pure white tampons. I’ll make them Canadian at the end of the month.

The federal government is pulling the string on the GST on feminine hygiene products, including tampons, starting July 1st.

That’s right. No more bleeding us dry.

Fill up the cart ladies because it’s estimated that removing the tax will cost the government around $36 million! Who’s bleeding now?

And it’s not just tampons! We won’t be paying the tax on sanitary napkins, sanitary belts or menstrual cups (Who the hell sticks that in them and empties it? That’s taking being environmentally friendly to the extreme).

And who do we have to thank for tax free periods? NDP MP Irene Mathyssen. Ms. Mathyssen sponsored a private member's bill that pulled the plug on taxing tampons.  She was quoted as saying, “This is a victory for all women.”

Yes! Damn the vote and equal pay for equal work. I am padding my pension with the tax savings from bleeding for free. Well tax free anyway.

Except for one thing. I am in menopause. I don’t bleed anymore. So do I get a tax rebate for years of bleeding without dying? Do I at least get a break on my income tax for almost 40 years of bloating and cramps?

Nothing?

Well Stephen Harper can take his tax free tampons and stick it where men should never attempt to put a tampon but we know they have thought about it.

That’s right! Right up his nose.

Hey Steve, if you want the female vote, give us tax free Vodka or wine. God knows I’d have to be drunk to vote for you anyway.